Kindness, Compassion and Reciprocity

We have all experienced the balm of kindness and the sting of its absence, particularly in relationships of love and attachment. Kindness can be defined as ‘behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward’ and has been a central topic of interest in philosophy and religion. November 13th is World Kindness Day an initiative of the World Kindness Movement which is a registered not for profit organization with no political, religious, or commercial affiliation which began in 1997 whose mission is to inspire individuals towards greater kindness by connecting nations to create a nicer world. It’s a heart-warming notion but beyond making us feel good, is there any real merit to it?

Curry et at (2018) conducted ‘a systematic review and meta-analysis of the experimental evidence that kindness interventions (for example, performing ‘random acts of kindness’) boost subjective well-being’ in the person who acts. While the effects are moderate, and not as effective as other positive psychology interventions, they conclude that engaging in acts of kindness does improve the well-being of the actor and is not moderated by sex, age, type of participant, intervention, control condition or outcome measure.

While interesting, such studies are limited and do not go to the heart of kindness in our key relationships. Robinson (2020) suggests that empathy and compassion are the two crucial variables necessary for both the maintenance and repair in relationships. He writes, ‘Compassion and empathy are central to the genuine practice of reciprocity. Reciprocity, give and take, is the glue for all enduring social relationships. Genuine acts of repetitive social reciprocity, give and take, are the best and most reliable way to recover and recapture empathy and compassion.’ These concepts underpin work conducted at Bower Place to understand and restore positive relationships.

Curry, O., Rowland, L., Van Lissa, C., Sally Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., Whitehouse,H. Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 76 (2018) 320–329

Robinson, M. Bower(Compassion/Empathy & Reciprocity) Bower(knowledge) https://bowerplace.com.au/education-training/bowerknowledge/

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