Exchanging the Known for the Unknown: Adapting to Motherhood

A new baby is challenging for all family members and for some a time of anxiety and distress that can blur the joy in their new member, particularly as others celebrate and congratulate. This year between the 7th – 13th November, we mark Perinatal Mental Health week an initiative of PANDA which operates Australia’s National Helpline to support families experiencing perinatal anxiety, depression, and postnatal psychosis.

While it is important to acknowledge the real and distressing experience of some new parents it is also crucial to understand what matters to women in achieving maternal self-esteem, competence and autonomy as well as adapting to changed family and intimate relationships and establishing health and well-being for themselves and their child. Achievement of these goals allows for a new integrated identity of ‘woman and mother’ with joy and self-confidence. Finlayson et al (2020) conducted a systemic review to identify what matters to women in the post-natal period. By analysing 36 studies from 15 countries, representing the views of more than 800 women, the authors identified five key themes. They conclude that ‘a positive postnatal experience is one in which women are able to adapt to their new self-identity and develop a sense of confidence and competence as mothers, adjust to changes in their intimate and family relationships, including their relationship to their baby, navigate ordinary physical and emotional challenges, and experience the dynamic achievement of personal growth as they adjust to the ‘new normal’ of motherhood and parenting in their own cultural context.’ To quote Rubin this is ‘an exchange of a known self in a known world for an unknown self in an unknown world.’ It’s a big job and one that all of us who work with families and their new infants need to understand as they negotiate change both inside and out.

Finlayson K, Crossland N, Bonet M, Downe S (2020) What matters to women in the postnatal period: A meta-synthesis of qualitative studies. PLoS ONE 15(4): e0231415. https://doi. org/10.1371/journal.pone.0231415

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