What shall I give them? It’s the question many ask themselves approaching Christmas and one that is hard to answer for those who have too much and too little. For those who have ‘everything’ giving yet another object is meaningless. Many families know what they would like to give but don’t have the financial resources.
This question is central to one of the most loved Christmas Carols, ‘The Bleak Mid-winter’ based on a poem ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Christina Rossetti, published in 1872 and set to music in 1906 by Gustav Holst. It begins with a picture of desolate cold and emptiness.
In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan;
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow.
It goes on to announce the birth of Christ, then asks the question;
What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a Shepherd
I would bring a lamb.
And answers; ‘Give my heart.’ That was easy, no expense and we know they don’t already have it.
Perhaps It’s Not
What does giving your heart really mean and is it so painless? Giving your heart is what we encourage families to do; we ask them to trust, be open to other’s explanations for the difficulties that have appeared between them, share vulnerability and accept responsibility for their part in the troubles that have beset them. We ask they give priority to their relationships and find time to be together with real attention. We urge them to persist and take the risk that in doing so they may be more hurt. We ask them to see the best in each other and through this allow others to be the best version of themselves. We ask that they genuinely participate in relationship.
And for Practitioners?
We too give our hearts daily. We stand with those who are bereft, angry, hurt, and disillusioned and sometimes we become the recipients of their distress. We stand still in the face of the horror of others’ experiences and protect them from our distress, disgust, and anger. We match our intellect with our hearts to find clever, resourceful ways through situations that appear impossible to navigate. We hold faith that there is a better way for them and those in their world and we lend this conviction through the duration of our work.
To do this well and consistently we too need people around us to give us heart, to sustain, nurture and help us keep faith that in the face of the bleakest winter there is joy and life. May this be your gift this Christmas.
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